THE DOCTORS SONG


Plastic dolls in plastic bags 
Macho dildos buying shags 
When the coppers they appear 
In the market you can hear 

 Tell me Doctor can I buy it 
 Tell me Doctor can you supply it 
 Spunky cardboard magazines 
 You can see it in his jeans 
 Is it soft or is it hard 
 It's been seen in Scotland Yard 

 Tell me Doctor can I buy it 
 Tell me Doctor can you supply it 
 Tell me are you getting it 
 Tell me are you having it 

Doctor Porno, Doctor Porno 
Fruity stories veggie looks 
I thought I'd read it all in books 
Here comes Sally she's a tenner 
Lay some plates and we'll have dinner 

 Tell me Doctor can I buy it 
 Tell me Doctor can you supply it 
 Tell me are you getting it 
 Tell me are you having it 
 Doctor Porno, Doctor Porno 
 Tell me are you getting it 
 Tell me are you having it 

Doctor Porno, Doctor Porno 
You want something that will make you horny 
Well have a look at this while I speak to Tony 
I've got what you want but it's in the van 
I know you're a naughty man 

Mandy, Margeret, French and sags 
You don't get this on teletext 
Naked women naked men 
Take one daily and come again 

 Tell me Doctor can I buy it 
 Tell me Doctor can you supply it 
 Tell me are you getting it 
 Tell me are you having it 
 Doctor Porno, Doctor Porno 

Some come in cos they've been told 
It's all kosher bought and sold 
Yes I think this ones for you 
You don't want one you need two 

 Tell me Doctor can I buy it 
 Tell me Doctor can you supply it 
 Tell me are you getting it 
 Tell me are you having it
 Doctor Porno, Doctor Porno

You want something that will make you horny 
Well have a look at this while I speak to Tony 
I've got one for you but it's in the van 
I know you're a naughty man 

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